i come from a similar place, and while I’ve been on my own for 10 years now, the crushing grief of my lost childhood has only intensified. now, the whole country i live in is trying to force me back into the same life i struggled SO HARD to escape
I’m also severely depressed and have a painful disability that i have to work through at a manual labor job. all i want, all i need, is rest. but i will probably die working, and so i grieve for my past as well as my future.
sometimes it feels like i will never truly live, and that’s incredibly painful to deal with. dont listen to people telling you to stop being bitter, i know it isnt like that at all.
try to find an understanding community, as well as a trauma-informed (very important) therapist. you may never get rid of the trauma, but hopefully find ways to cope.
Good fucking luck, look at netenyahu. Committed a whole ass genocide and “the world” did nothing. Nobody will step in for us