The first thing seen at the top of WhatsApp now is an AI query bar. Who the fuck needs anything related to AI on WhatsApp?

It’s obvious to me. I get that it’s not obvious to her 😂

Oh she does it constantly with everyone 😂 she is aware, and is striving to do it less, but yeah, it’s all confidence.

She loves baking, for example, and is really good at it, but will apologise profusely for how bad they are before anyone has even tasted them. Perfectionism is absolutely a part of it, and I think that’s been imposed on her by her mum who is also a perfectionist and expects everyone else to be a perfectionist.

But yeah, were figuring it out 😊

I do experience a bit of the paradox of impatience:

“Sorry”

“Don’t be sorry”

“Are you angry?”

“I’m not angry”

“Did I do something wrong?”

"NO YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG FFS!!* 😂

Yeah, I know the struggle 😂

We’ve both been working on ourselves emotionally for a long time, so we spend a lot of time and energy trying to explore why we feel certain ways about different things, and then working together to try and help each other get to where we want to be.

I obviously have behaviours which I don’t like about myself which I’m working on, and she also has behaviours which she’s trying to work on. This is one of those areas where we’re trying to figure out together “how much apologising is too much?” as a general curiosity, rather than it being an actual problem.

Neither of us feel like we apologise enough, but I don’t get called out on how much I apologise, but she does. A lot of our friends and family often tell her she doesn’t need to apologise, or that she apologises too much! 😂

I understand why I don’t want her to do it, and it’s for many of the reasons you stated: perfectionism, people-pleasing, high social standards, fear of disappointment, etc. all of which can lead to her feeling sad, anxious, and over thinking every tiny detail which obviously isn’t good for mental health.

But to try and figure out how I physically and emotionally feel when I hear her say “sorry” is tricky. Do I get frustrated? Do I feel pity? Am I annoyed? Am I annoyed at her? (Obviously I’m not, but she often assumes I am)

I guess we’re just finding it interesting to work through that childish curiosity of answering the question “…but why?” from a perspective which isn’t as often looked through.

And thank you for the response! ❤️

We live in the age of EVERYTHING MUST BE RATED 5 STARS! Anything below that, even a 4 star review, is seen as utterly terrible.

I’ve heard there are places that will pull you in for performance reviews if a customer rates you 4 stars or below. My memory is telling that was in relation to Über, but I may be wrong.