Maybe you might want to try out a different perspective. Because weirdly, being an adult can give you the freedom of being more childlike.
Think of it this way…as a child, no matter what kind of home life you had, abusive or not, you had to go to school for much of the day. As an adult, the same thing applies. Except now you’ll be at work instead of school. So realistically, that part is actually the same if that makes sense. The time each takes out of your day is roughly equivocal.
Ok. So then where does that take us? The time spent during work or school is similar. So now the real differences are going to come outside of work/school.
As a kid, what happened outside of school? Your life was hell. You didn’t get to play and do kid things the way a normal kid does.
Aa an adult, what happens outside of work? Believe it or not, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
That’s right.
Want ice cream for dinner? Fuck it, you’re an an adult and can do what you want. Want to buy some toys and play with them? Fuck it, you’re an adult and can do what you want. Want to climb a tree? Fuck it, you’re an adult and can do what you want.
Use the now to live the childhood you didn’t have. Difference is instead of spending your non play time at school, you’ll just be at work instead, earning your own money to do whatever the fuck you want. :)
Best of luck.
I apologize compulsively at work and this thread is making me feel some type of way. Seems like everyone must hate me for it based on this thread I guess. It’s like I’m in an unwinnable scenario of bothering people if I fuck up and bothering people if I apologize about it. So then what?