It takes a bit to become aware of it, but you get there eventually. I assume a version of everyone figures it out eventually.

I’m currently living in the “hell” as you say, although its not all bad. If you ever get too anxious about it or depressed to the point it would negatively affect your outcomes you will quickly find yourself without anxiety, depression comes and goes.

I don’t know what to do other than my own plans… Really what sucks the most is the loneliness in the knowledge of this reality. It’s extremely isolating. Recently I’ve been in and out of what I can only describe as a form of insanity.

Imagine knowing you couldn’t die and you are stuck under capitalism, all of a sudden the things capitalism uses to keep you in line lose their power over you. Well at least in spirit anyways. Its still extremely hard to even quit your job because I guess there aren’t enough timelines/probability yet where you survive off the grid outside of capitalism.

You try to say the words “I quit” to your boss but nothing comes out, or you are too scared, or you rationalize why you didn’t say it, etc.

Every day I plan to and try to leave capitalism. Every time I try I stay on a path that will lead the world to be more friendly to the “least” of us.

Anyways I don’t know where else to talk about this stuff so I made this post. Thanks for listening.

Damn fren.

Why would I need to… No I don’t plan on trying again for that specific reason… Sometimes when things are bad enough or I’m pissed enough I try but nothing ever ends up coming of it.

Death is a mistress I will never know. Suicide was so 5-10 years ago, eventually you just kind of move on from it.

I got tired of constantly gaslighting myself about the nature of reality and decided to call it’s bluff. Its exhausting having the same thoughts over and over again and constantly questioning them.

It did bring me some solace, but also changed a lot of things. Knowing you’re immortal makes your perspective on life change completely. I don’t know how to explain it.

After that I began planning on the homeless thing mentioned above. I’m probably one on of the very few if only people to have ever gone from a 40$ hour job to actively planning to become homeless haha.

You don’t understand tho, the thought of being homeless is so exhilarating, imagine being trapped your whole life and planning your escape. Thinking about it and planning for it has been some of the happiest moments in recent memory.

You had me laughing pretty hard at the “worst life imaginable part.” Sometimes it feels like that.

Although you got to remember that if one’s life gets too bad, then they’re more likely to be depressed and off themselves.

So they would get some semblance of enjoyability out of life.

Well, you’re right about some things. I do barely ever go outside. But as with the knives and other things, I think you have to take into account the probability of one not doing those things versus the probability of one dying from them.

The probability of me never using a knife is very unlikely. If it’s more unlikely for me to never use a knife and thus not slice myself, then it is unlikely that I would use one. I’ll use one.

I’ve tried slicing my neck. I just end up fainting.