Seinfeld isn’t that funny. This was a Carlin joke.

What if you could use a baseball bat? Maybe with nails in it.

Don’t I know it! I’m diabetic.

Peanuts are legumes which means that peanut butter is basically sweetened bean dip.

They can keep the fucking thing with all of these dogshit “AAA” games that come out half baked and/or dark pattern tricks to try and fuck you out of even more money. I’m glad I never bothered with Diablo 4 or POE 2.

Exactly. Even as bad as we might still fuck the planet up, it’ll still be easier to terraform actual Terra than fucking Mars.

• Omar El Akkad

Check your car between the seat and the door, or the seat and center console. This happened to me once, then a couple years later to a neighbor, so I was able to help him find his.

To be clear, I’m not against the Ukraine people, just their corrupt fascist government, just like us (the U.S.).

I got kicked off of Reddit for saying “fuck Ukraine” when some little bundle of twigs said they liked a certain Van Gogh painting because “it matches the color of the Ukraine flag”. That was in r/museum, where you’d think there wouldn’t be much political horseshit.

Give it a couple more years and they’ll be making Noah’s Ark and Golgotha play sets. Oligarchs have no shame about virtue signaling to whoever holds the brass ring.

And poor people are theoretically smarter than zombies. Even conservatards occasionally. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1518107286215389

Are you sure about that? Reddit is a fucking cesspool.

Not to mention out-and-out corruption. The scumbags collecting money off of it just give it to their family and buddies while not a drop “trickles down” to the ones who need it. This is most glaring in California, but I’m not some MAGA retard. Corruption is spread through all of government.

A few years ago I discovered that my girlfriend takes monster shits. She only poops once every 3 or 4 days. When I say “horse turd”, I’m not kidding, just looking at one of these makes my ass hurt. Anyway, apparently this sort of thing isn’t unheard of. I stumbled on a Reddit post about something called a “poop knife”. I repurposed my shittiest chef’s knife (pun intended) for this task, which has cut down on the number of times I have to plunge the toilet. We wash it off every time with tile cleaner, so it never goes in the dish washer. I’ve blunted the edge since it doesn’t need to be sharp, and my girlfriend is a complete klutz. I can easily imagine her dropping it and cutting off a toe. Imagine having to explain to an ER doc cutting your toe off with a poop knife.