SharkEatingBreakfast

As someone who is handicapped through no fault of my own, it fills me with sorrow that you feel this way. Self-harm through neglect is no way to live.

My handicap initially left me with no way to walk for nearly 2 years. No doctor would touch my case. My kid literally could not hug me. I was dependent on so many people during that time and could barely take care of anyone else.

I cannot tell you what to do… but I’m probably not going to live very long anyway (thank you, genetics!), so I’d like to encourage you to find purpose. I found my purpose in creation by sewing, and it brings me overwhelming joy. My goal is to continue creating things to spread that joy to others.

If that doesn’t convince you, please know this: there are evil, shitty people in power out there who revel in your self-destruction and actively want you to destroy yourself. Please do not let them win. Continue to do your best in order to spite them and help people who aren’t so fortunate.

I was really worried I was rambling!! Glad to know that you will be searching with renewed vigor. Enthusiastically wishing you all the best! (:

Not being traditionally masculine does not make you less of a man.

The man who moved me most in life was a sensitive, artistic, nervous, sweetheart of a man, whom I doted on, had him sit on my lap while he cried, cuddled and kissed him until he felt better, called him sugary names (lamb, darling, sweetheart), pet him often, and just absolutely loved on him.

Men often get upset if you refer to them as “cute”, and I was unable to feel any of them put me on equal footing before him. The fact that he was emotionally open and outright with his feelings was what had attracted me to him in the first place. I am absolutely not a “dominant” person, but my desire to protect and love him in this was something no other man even allowed me the opportunity to do.

I recall saying that something was “cute” while we were out, and he quietly asked “am I cute?”. The answer was, of course, “Yes, darling! Of course you are!” If he wanted me to, I would have moved all the stars in the sky for that man.

Men (often secretly) desire to be desired, and it is weirdly seen as a more feminine urge. However, men who identify as masc can still desire the sensitivity of desire. Nothing feminine about it.

There are women out there who will desire what you have to offer. It may be a search to find them, but they are out there.