I have an Italian friend, so tried to learn Italian. I did French at school (30 years ago), so how hard can it be, right?

Real fucking hard.

WHY DO SO MANY THINGS HAVE GENDERS?! WHY IS AN APPLE TREE HE, BUT AN APPLE IS SHE?! (or is it the other way around?)

I’m English, so I guess I’ll just carry on the grand tradition of talking louder and using hand gestures.

My gran once gave me a toilet brush. The base had penguins floating in blue liquid, but it was ultimately just a cheap toilet brush.

I gave her a beautiful marble maze.

I didn’t bother after that.