“Why don’t they just turn on the taps? Those canadians, the 51st state, they’re poisoning us, the biggest smog we’ve ever seen, I turned on the taps in California and I’ll do it again now folks”

edit- I asked ChatGPT to make it more trump-like

“Look, it’s very simple, folks — just turn on the taps! That’s what I said, that’s what I did. The Canadians — wonderful people, some of them — but let’s be honest, they’re basically the 51st state, okay? They’re sending us smog — toxic smog — the likes of which the world has never seen before. It’s coming over the border like you wouldn’t believe — nasty stuff. I opened the taps in California, nobody thought it could be done, but I did it — I alone did it. And now, I’m gonna do it again. Bigger. Faster. Cleaner. We’re gonna have the cleanest air, the best water, tremendous water — people are gonna be amazed!”

edit2-

“Why don’t they just turn on the taps, folks? It’s not hard — you turn them, water comes out, it’s beautiful. I did it in California — nobody thought it could be done, the fake news said it was impossible — but I turned on those taps, and BOOM, water like you’ve never seen. Now we’ve got smog — not just any smog, the biggest, thickest, most Canadian smog coming across the border. It’s pouring in like an invasion — from Canada! I always said they were basically the 51st state, and now they’re sending us smoke — real smoke, fire smoke, wildfire smoke! They’re poisoning our air, folks — our beautiful American lungs are breathing Canadian smog. Disgusting! But don’t worry, I’ll fix it. I’ll open the taps again. Bigger taps. Stronger taps. The best taps. And we’ll blow that smog right back where it came from — back to Trudeau!”

edit3- I told GPT that Trudeau isn’t president and gave Carney the Obvious trump nickname.

“Why don’t they just turn on the taps, folks? It’s not complicated — you open the taps, the water comes out, boom, problem solved. I did it in California, remember that? They said it couldn’t be done — the environmental people were crying — but I turned those taps on like nobody’s ever done before. And now we’ve got smog, folks. Not just any smog — this is Canadian smog. Fire smog. It’s rolling across the border like a fog of maple-flavored doom. Poisoning us! Coming down from the 51st state — I’ve always said it, Canada’s basically a suburb of America — and now their fires are choking our air. And who’s in charge up there? A guy named Carney — Mark ‘Carnage’ Carney — total disaster. Worse than Trudeau, if you can believe it. Total globalist. He’s letting Canada burn like a campfire in a wind tunnel. But don’t worry, folks, I’ll handle it. We’re gonna open the taps again, faster, harder, beautiful, American taps — and we’ll send that smog right back to Carnage and his climate clown crew!”

He’s too big a chicken for that.

Those Dyson Air-Purifying headphones looking more ahead of their time every day.