• borokov@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    I have a high IQ and diagnosed as “gifted” by psy at nearly 40.

    I won’t argue about IQ and Giftedness having scientific base or not. All I can do is a professional clinical psy told me I am gifted. And what I’ll say is just my way of thinking.

    I have a systemic brain. I have very poor memory concerning names, date, etc… but I can remember complex system (basically, what cause create which consequence) really easily. I also understand problem, and find solutions much faster than most of peoples, I have strong Intuition of things, but I have difficulties explaining how I’ve found the solution. Scientists think it may be related to Myelin. That stuff increase connection speed between neurons, so it makes you think “faster”, but sometime faster than you conscience.

    I also wants to give meaning to anything. If I take a nap and hear the wind in the trees, I immediately imagine air molecules traveling and hitting leaves, sound wave propagating and hitting my ears. Wind also blowing the small layer of hotter air near my skin, explaining why it feel cold, etc…

    I see object through their functioning, not their usefulness. When I see any new machine, I don’t really care what it does, but more how it does it.

    I’m constantly flooded by information, and I’m constantly analyzing everything. Being in a crowed area is exhausting for me, because there are too many stimulus. I’m not going to faint or something, but I think being in a crowd for me is like being in a kindergarten class full of screaming children.

    I don’t talk a lot because I’m easily bored by small-talks. I don’t see the point of speaking about what I’ve done this week end, or the weather, or anything. I prefer staying in my own bubble speaking to myself.

    I don’t feel part of this world, I more feel like an observer watching some weird TV show. I don’t understand most of human reaction.

    If you are French speaking, I strongly encourage you to read the comics Comme oiseau dans bocal. It’s based on serious research and is a very good popular science story about IQ, giftedness, etc…

    • Global_Liberty@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      This mirrors my experience.

      I was determined to have an IQ of 139 at age eight by a school psychologist. I was educated in a special program, attended an Ivy League university in the US, finished graduate school in the top 1% of my class, and work a well compensated job I dislike and will leave shortly.

      To answer the main question, I find it isolating and a bit scary right now, but also stress-relieving.

      I cannot connect with the average person though I really like some for their kindness. This is because I have a different lived experience. I consume different media. I don’t have their problems (money, vices, romantic instability, political agitation). I dislike how populism and hatred are rising, and am concerned that we are ignoring real issues (climate change, deficit spending, pollution) for fake ones (immigrants, “woke” culture, crime). At the same time, I wealthy by any objective standard, don’t have to work, and follow most medical guidelines (little exercise due to work schedule) so weigh an appropriate amount and am in good health.

      I will acquire the book you recommend. My read French is decent. I have thought little about my IQ and perhaps should.

      • borokov@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Thanks for sharing.

        I’ve never had serious IQ test. I scored between 130 and 160 on some online tests, where my friends were around 100/110. My psy told me I could pass a real test if I want, but added it would be a waste of time (and money) regarding all the other elements she detect in me.

        I always was the smart kid at school, but In all their wisdom, some teachers thought it would be a good idea to put me with low level students to pull them up. I ended up with bunch of retard that bullied me for not being stupid enough. Hard time, but now I have a good job in scientific domain which pay well, a nice house and a few motorbike in my garage. In a way, I got my revenge.

        I feel like you regarding populism and hatred. I don’t understand how people could be so easily manipulated. I stop watching TV and mainstream media anyway. I’m not really aware of what happen in the world, but I feel better this way. I prefer travelling and really see how beautiful the world is than watching news repeating how doomed we are.

        • Global_Liberty@lemmy.ml
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          2 days ago

          IQ tests are largely worthless, so I wouldn’t take one formally.

          Sorry about your school experience. Being placed in a gifted program allowed me to make friends with similar people.

          I am envious of your career in the sciences. I foolishly pursued business, and while it has been financially rewarding, I am left with a sense of emptiness.

          My job and residence in Florida require me to follow the news to avoid the nonsense inflicted by populist leaders, but I spend my free time in nature or traveling like you.

          It is nice to connect to someone online with a similar experience.

          • borokov@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Yes, it’s nice to have this kind of discussion.

            I’m horrible at business and economy. Too many humans in the loop, I don’t understand the logic behind. And it really gives me the impression of fooling peoples. I tried to do consulting in freelance, but was really not my cup of tea. I quickly came back to employee. I’m really efficient in my job, so it gave me spare time to work on other topics. And as my company encourage innovation, It’s a win-win relation. I have a lot of autonomy and have regular bonus for IP and patent I fill. I know it’s penuts regarding money they do on my back, but I can work on things I like.

            I never went to Florida. I visit West coast twice (Seattle, LA, and San Francisco for job). US is so different than Europe. I felt like in amusement park, everything is so big, so clean (and a bit so fake 😂).

            It’s not the first time I heard about gifted program. Is it something common in US ? How does it works ? Is it a separate private school, or just a special class in classic school ?

            • Global_Liberty@lemmy.ml
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              5 hours ago

              Business is morally dubious and absolute truth does not exist which is frustrating, but I lack the patience for bench research though recognize its much greater value. We are all exploited at work, but at least you have decent hours, labor protections, and I hope societal value.

              Florida is a state of extremes. I love the warm, wet climate and the food/smells it produces, but it’s even more superficial and transitory than the West Coast you know.

              I am writing this from onboard a flight Europe. I appreciate your social cohesion (yes, even in the France of greves et manifestations), food quality, public transit, and historic city centers. I know France quite well and while I love Normandy and Paris, the weather and family draw me to PACA and Aquitaine. Since I debate retiring to France, how do you find life there compared to what you have witnessed of the United States?

              Public schools are locally managed and every school board is different, but gifted programs are common in Canada and the US. Children are screened early, tested, and put in dedicated classes. I was moved to a different school that had a segregated group of classrooms at age eight. My children’s school has gifted classes so they could stay starting at seven. Since you are past this age, what leads you to such an interest if you don’t mind me asking?

    • Mothra@mander.xyz
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      4 days ago

      Since you’ve been to a psychologist for your assessment (is that what you mean by “psy”?) have you asked or considered the possibility of neurodivergence? I have suspected autism in myself for a while, and I resonate with much of what you said in regards to stimulus overwhelm, staying in your bubble, disdain for small talk etc. That’s pretty common in many autistic people.

      • borokov@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Yeah, I and some other psychologists had suspected high level autism, like Asperger, but it doesn’t seems to be this. I have a mix of social anxiety linked to my childhood (also called over-adaptation), probably neurodivergence like giftedness, and Endogenous depression. Fuck my brain :D. The good side is that I’m extremely resilient to stress, pressure, or emergency situations.

        My last psy (who is excellent) told me that “Autistic people are always autistic”. It’s really a missing social-related circuits in their brain. On my side, I’m “autistic like” most of the time, but I manage to build close relationship with good friends. So I have this “social circuit”, but it switch on only when I feel really secure.

        It feel really strange to re-analyse all my life and childhood with this new perspective.

          • borokov@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            Yes, a lot >_<, but I have calmed down since a few year. I’ve learned to step back from things on which you don’t have control.

            Actually, it’s not that I don’t feel anything. It’s even the opposite. I feel the same level of stress when I order a pizza than when I present in front of 100 peoples. Being stressed and anxious is a natural state for me since I was a child. That’s what my psy call “over-adaptation”. Normal people grow up by alternate time of danger and time of safety. So they learn to adapt to different situation. On my side, I always felt unsecured while growing up. Any situation were perceived as potential threat. So I over-adapted.

            Also, some things affects me more than “normal” people. I have very low tolerance to injustice, which bring me trouble in my previous job btw. I’m also nearly unable to lie, honesty is primordial for me. At least, my wife is sure I’ll never cheat on her xD. I can also have important emotional reactions caused by little things. It seems like, as connections are faster in my brain, information coming from Amygdala (which basically handle emotions) go too fast through Cerebral cortex (which handle logic). As a consequence, Cortex doesn’t have time to filter them.

            In the end, like everyone, I’m a mix of nature, my brain is wire differently than most of people, which gave me high IQ, and nurture, because of environment in which I grew up, which gave me social anxiety.