• sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    The mother told criminal investigators that she’d thought her son had been playing video games and doing homework during the hours he spent in his room.

    Huh, that sounds like she was very much not involved in her kid’s life. You don’t go from “huh, what’s this Qu’ran thing” to “ima watch some beheadings” in an afternoon.

    Also, where’s the dad in this situation? It’s fine if she’s a single parent or something, but if there’s a father figure, he’s also to blame here.

    IMO, a 12-yo shouldn’t be let loose on the internet alone. They should be in the process of getting there, but I would keep computers like this in more public spaces (living room, family room, kitchen, etc) where parents can casually glance over and see what their child is getting into. This shouldn’t be some kind of creepy spying thing, just casual interest (i.e. are they looking at sports stuff but not involved in those sports? Maybe sign them up for a community league!), as well as an early warning sign if they’re starting to get into weird stuff.

    The boy is now in residential care without access to social networks, with specialized educators and regular visitation rights for his parents, the prosecutor told AP.

    Yeah, this sounds like the parents royally messed up.

    Police analysis of the 12-year-old boy’s computer and phone found 1,739 jihadi videos, “a phenomenal quantity of scenes of decapitation, throat-slitting, shootings,” the prosecutor said. He also had how-to videos on bomb-making and killing, including one that appeared to show the real-life death of a tied-down man being methodically chopped into pieces.

    That’s a lot of videos… This had to have been going on for quite a while…

    • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      The boy likely has a pathology. No way this is purely learned interest.

      I watched porn in that age. A lot of it. And listened to Nazi marches. And generally marches. But I was kinda depressed by one girl (I suppose with the same pathology that boy has) intentionally trying to compel me to suicide (yes, certain, she made enough attempts for that, and also wasn’t as subtle as she thought), and in general being in school full of walking shit, and my parents being exceptional idiots, loud and irritating at that.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        Sure, and the parents should absolutely have picked up on that. If you take even a passing interest in your kid’s life, you’ll at least pick up on something being a bit off.

        My oldest is 11, so not all that different from the kid in the article. We still have regular chats where they tell me a fair amount of what goes on at school and w/ friends. They don’t tell me everything, and they frequently lie, but I’m present enough to pick up on trends.

        These parents were either complicit (unlikely) or negligent (very likely) if they “didn’t know” what their kid was up to. I certainly hid stuff from my parents (had a copy of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, because I thought it was interesting), but nothing anywhere close to this magnitude.

        if they’re not already (and they probably are), these parents should be criminally investigated for whatever laws France has around gross negligence.

        • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          They don’t tell me everything, and they frequently lie, but I’m present enough to pick up on trends.

          To be good enough you just have to be better than the parents who first ask people from outside, like teachers, and then ask their kids for control and still believe them less. OK, that’s my flashbacks again.

          • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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            3 days ago

            The trick, IMO, is to look past the things that don’t matter and only call them out when it does. Then casually mention that you know they lie other times, so they never know exactly how much you pick up on.

            Don’t blindly trust your kid or a random other adult, take the time to hear both sides, and simply state how things ought to be. It’s best if you can find something you can agree w/ from both sides that are relevant, so both sides know they’re being heard.